25 things I’m trying to teach my 9 year old girl

Keep on going my girl. Never give up!

My daughter is 9. For her 10th birthday (coming up in just a few weeks) she wants a sleepover. We don’t do sleepovers. Not just yet.

She asked me to take her shopping this past weekend, because she needed a ‘cold shoulder top’ that I wasn’t allowed to buy for her, on my own.

She asks for my phone so she can call her friend and they talk for an insane amount of time! It’s getting to a point where she doesn’t want me to hear her conversation. We all know how that plays out eventually.

At the angelic age of nine, she comes home one afternoon singing ‘Closer’ by The Chainsmokers because – hello mom, all the girls in school know it! By the time I’ve mastered the lyrics (because I try to be the ‘cool’ mom, or so I think), she is singing ‘Shape of You’ by Ed Sheeran. The actual one, not the dentist one floating on Facebook. I take consolation in the fact, that perhaps she doesn’t understand the lyrics, and is just singing along with her friends, because she is still just 9 people! Just 9!

In the midst of all her craziness (bordering on sassiness), I try to reinforce the more meaningful things in life. I try to be a mom.

These are the things I remind her of in my own ways and hope she will be able to take some of it with her as she grows up.

  1. Be honest. Always. Speaking the truth may seem harder at first, but it’s easier in the long run.

  2. Don’t be afraid to say No. If something feels wrong, it probably is. Trust your gut.

  3. Comparing yourself to others will rob you of your happiness. Be yourself. The only person you should be competing with, is yourself.

  4. Never go to bed angry. (I love how we have made this a priority!)

  5. Sports. Play it, watch it, take it up for life. Make people envy the phrase ‘throw it like a girl’.

  6. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it. If you set your mind to it, you can. Please prove them wrong.

  7. Use your voice. Speak your mind. You do it so well already – but be polite when you do.

  8. Don’t live with regrets. If it happened, learn from it and move on. It can only make you stronger.

  9. Chocolate always makes it better. If that doesn’t work, a batch of home-made fudge brownies should do the trick. Use mom’s recipe.

  10. It takes strength to be the first to apologize. But more often than not, it’s worth it.

  11. You look the prettiest when you smile. (My mom told me that, and I am passing it on to you.)

  12. Read the book first. Movie later. Never the other way around.

  13. Come to me when you want to learn about sports, but go to your Dad when you want to do a science experiment.

  14. Sunscreen, Sunscreen Sunscreen!. Please don’t forget!

  15. It is always fun to break the rules once in a while. Just don’t break the law.

  16. You will always need loyal girlfriends in your life for those times when you feel you can’t come to me. Nurture those friendships.

  17. But always remember you can come to me with absolutely anything. Chances are I’ve been through it too.

  18. As much as you want to wear a bra now, you are nine! Don’t be in a rush to grow up. But when it’s time, I promise to get you the best one there is!

  19. Kindness. With siblings, friends, family, teachers, and with the girl sitting on the bench alone at recess. Be that friend who is kind.

  20. Work Hard. Remember ‘Hard work beats talent, when talent doesn’t work hard’Tim Notke. 

  21. Life may be tough at times, but you can pull through. My mom did it, I did it, and so can you. Don’t forget that.

  22. Eat the fries that come with the burger – occasionally. Savor them and don’t think about it later.

  23. Feminism. Learn what it means now.

  24. Heartbreak will happen. At school, at home, at sports meets. With girls and maybe even with boys. It’s not the end of the world.

  25. You are loved. Immensely.

On a lighter note, as I was writing this post, my daughter walks up to me, curious as to what I was writing. She knew my next blog post was centered around her somehow. She asked me what specifically what it would talk about.

Me: You know, I’m just writing about the things I usually keep telling you – just general stuff.

Her : Oh ok (she looked at me like she completely understood what I was saying)

Me : (I had my doubts- because as a parent you are never really sure if they are getting it) Do you know what I’m talking about?

Her: Yeah mom. I do (insert eye-roll here)

Me: So what for example?

Her: ( as she breaks into a fighting stance) Be yourself and show the world who’s boss!!!

I kid you not, those were her exact words. I know I’m doing something right in this parenting thing. You go girl!

Do you have a daughter? What do you tell her as she grows up? Share your parenting wisdom with me.

36 thoughts on “25 things I’m trying to teach my 9 year old girl

  1. Awesome advice for any girl growing up !! Some of these I give to my child as well and then sit and wonder if she even understood or if I made any sense at all !! 😀 I might use a few of yours to add on to mine.


  2. This brought me back to the days when my now 28-year-old was 9 and I would panic at the things she knew and I made my list, like you of the important areas of life. It’s funny because she recently posted a comment on Facebook and mentioned it was something I always told her. She actually did listen!!!


  3. Happy birthday dearest Zoha! I thoroughly enjoyed your article Nadia! Very well written! This mom thing is so hard but you’re doing it right 😀💪🏾👍🏼💪🏽

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Loved the read, the tips and the Humor.👍👏👌 Was reflecting how I keep telling some of your tips to my kiddos…who are suddenly all grown up and are so different from what we were.
    The Gen gap always haunts I guess. 😉But one thing I am sure these ‘smart’ age kids are very well wired and know so much more than we did . Proud of them and their confidence.
    I would always want things to be a bit slower paced.
    Enjoyed it thoroughly..miss seeing u at Aspire .Hope to catch sometime for a coffee. Keep writing!!❤Love!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Arshia! I agree. The Generation Gap is there, and as much as we try to bridge it, they may be ahead of the game. I think we can just take comfort in the fact that we are raising them to be kind and loving human beings!
      Thanks for reading and leaving your thoughts.


  5. Your little one is lucky to have you as her mom! Thank you for sharing your great advices and I love your sense of humour, Nadia.
    I would add to yours my, almost everyday, reminders.
    *Be patient, it’s the best of all warriors.
    *Eat healthy, live longer.
    *If it’s meant to happen, it’s gonna happen, hence do not regret anything you do.
    *Stay positive and positive things will happen to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh I loved all of these and was like a nodding dog reading it. No.6 & 7 are essentials in my parenting handbook as well as no.14 – my daughter is a redhead so it goes with the territory. The other thing I tell my daughter and my son actually a lot is “to rise above it” , ie if something or someone irritates or upsets them, they need to take themselves to a different zone and move on. Thanks so much for joining us at #TweensTeensBeyond

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I do have a daughter and I am totally in agreement with all of those things. Although I draw the line at learning the song lyrics! Brilliant life lessons and whilst our girls may not understand the wisdom just now, they will in good time. Thank you so much for joining us here at #TweensTeensBeyond, it’s lovely to have you Nicky

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This is so lovely and very similar to my wise advice (lecturing!!) My youngest is almost 9 but I’m still throwing out these same life guidelines to the 16 year old!!! And yes!Always read the book first!!! #tweensteensbeyond

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Excellent! I love all the points.
    Few things I try teach my own kids are:
    1. Always count your blessings and be grateful its the secret to happiness
    2. Use the special gift Allah has blessed you with for goodness
    3. No matter what the mistake ask Allah for forgiveness. He loves to forgive

    Liked by 1 person

  10. 31. Never be afraid of losing. In the end it is not about winning, it is about you trying your best.
    32. If something doesn’t work out, its for the best. Allah has something better in store for you.

    What a totally absolutely wonderful post. Totally relate-able (Not actually a word but you know what I mean!!)

    Keep them coming Nads… and Zoha…U GO GIRL!!! x

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good ones to remember Ashi! Thanks so much for sharing!
      I’m still working on ‘how to handle a maddening crush on your favorite actor’ – still haven’t figured that one out for myself, but if you do, let me know too!


  11. This is amazing and so well written. I agree with all the points and wish more people thought this way! Will definitely look back at this list when I have my own kids one day ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  12. 26. Don’t look to others to give you validation.
    27. Always take care of your skin, especially on your face. It’s the first thing that people see.
    28. Stay fit to be strong, not to be skinny.
    29. When in doubt, bring a book.
    30. In groups, keep your own point of view and don’t get swayed by others.

    (These are all additional points that Maryam would add 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. This is a beautiful post! I’m 18 and I don’t expect to have children anytime soon, but when or if I do I would aspire to teach them as you have thought your little girl. This post was beautiful. We need more parents like you in this earth. Your daughter sounds just as amazing as you are.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much for your wonderful words! I am far from being the perfect mom, but we all try in our own ways, to do what we can and instill the very best in our children. I’m sure you will do great when the time comes!
      Thanks again for stopping by!

      Liked by 1 person

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