25 things I’m trying to teach my 9 year old girl

My daughter is 9. For her 10th birthday (coming up in just a few weeks) she wants a sleepover. We don’t do sleepovers. Not just yet.

She asked me to take her shopping this past weekend, because she needed a ‘cold shoulder top’ that I wasn’t allowed to buy for her, on my own.

She asks for my phone so she can call her friend and they talk for an insane amount of time! It’s getting to a point where she doesn’t want me to hear her conversation. We all know how that plays out eventually.

At the angelic age of nine, she comes home one afternoon singing ‘Closer’ by The Chainsmokers because – hello mom, all the girls in school know it! By the time I’ve mastered the lyrics (because I try to be the ‘cool’ mom, or so I think), she is singing ‘Shape of You’ by Ed Sheeran. The actual one, not the dentist one floating on Facebook. I take consolation in the fact, that perhaps she doesn’t understand the lyrics, and is just singing along with her friends, because she is still just 9 people! Just 9!

In the midst of all her craziness (bordering on sassiness), I try to reinforce the more meaningful things in life. I try to be a mom.

These are the things I remind her of in my own ways and hope she will be able to take some of it with her as she grows up.

1. Be honest. Always. Speaking the truth may seem harder at first, but it’s easier in the long run.

2. Don’t be afraid to say No. If something feels wrong, it probably is. Trust your gut.

3. Comparing yourself to others will rob you of your happiness. Be yourself. The only person you should be competing with, is yourself.

4. Never go to bed angry. (I love how we have made this a priority!)

5. Sports. Play it, watch it, take it up for life. Make people envy the phrase ‘throw it like a girl’.

6. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it. If you set your mind to it, you can. Please prove them wrong.

7. Use your voice. Speak your mind. You do it so well already – but be polite when you do.

8. Don’t live with regrets. If it happened, learn from it and move on. It can only make you stronger.

9. Chocolate always makes it better. If that doesn’t work, a batch of home-made fudge brownies should do the trick. Use mom’s recipe.

10. It takes strength to be the first to apologize. But more often than not, it’s worth it.

11. You look the prettiest when you smile. (My mom told me that, and I am passing it on to you.)

12. Read the book first. Movie later. Never the other way around.

13. Come to me when you want to learn about sports, but go to your Dad when you want to do a science experiment.

14. Sunscreen, Sunscreen Sunscreen!. Please don’t forget!

15. It is always fun to break the rules once in a while. Just don’t break the law.

16. You will always need loyal girlfriends in your life for those times when you feel you can’t come to me. Nurture those friendships.

17. But always remember you can come to me with absolutely anything. Chances are I’ve been through it too.

18. As much as you want to wear a bra now, you are nine! Don’t be in a rush to grow up. But when it’s time, I promise to get you the best one there is!

19. Kindness. With siblings, friends, family, teachers, and with the girl sitting on the bench alone at recess. Be that friend who is kind.

20. Work Hard. Remember ‘Hard work beats talent, when talent doesn’t work hard’ –Tim Notke. 

21. Life may be tough at times, but you can pull through. My mom did it, I did it, and so can you. Don’t forget that.

22. Eat the fries that come with the burger – occasionally. Savor them and don’t think about it later.

23. Feminism. Learn what it means now.

24. Heartbreak will happen. At school, at home, at sports meets. With girls and maybe even with boys. It’s not the end of the world.

25. You are loved. Immensely.

On a lighter note, as I was writing this post, my daughter walks up to me, curious as to what I was writing. She knew my next blog post was centered around her somehow. She asked me what specifically what it would talk about.

Me: You know, I’m just writing about the things I usually keep telling you – just general stuff.

Her : Oh ok (she looked at me like she completely understood what I was saying)

Me : (I had my doubts- because as a parent you are never really sure if they are getting it) Do you know what I’m talking about?

Her: Yeah mom. I do (insert eye-roll here)

Me: So what for example?

Her: ( as she breaks into a fighting stance) Be yourself and show the world who’s boss!!!

I kid you not, those were her exact words. I know I’m doing something right in this parenting thing. You go girl!

Do you have a daughter? What do you tell her as she grows up? Share your parenting wisdom with me.