We like to think we know ourselves—the things we’ll always love, the habits we’ll never break, the parts of us that feel permanent. But time has a way of reshaping even the things we once swore were set in stone.
Some changes happen so gradually, that we don’t even notice until one day, we wake up and realize we’ve become the kind of person younger us would never have expected. It’s funny how life turns our ‘never’ into ‘actually, that makes sense now.’ Here are some changes I never saw coming.
1. Realizing That Winning an Argument Doesn’t Pay My Bills
The younger me loved to win an argument. I would replay conversations in my head, crafting the perfect comebacks, convinced everything would make sense if I could prove my point. But somewhere along the way, I realized that being “right” doesn’t always fix things. Some battles aren’t worth fighting; sometimes, peace is worth more than a perfectly worded rebuttal.
2. Accept That Some People Are Just Going to Be Delusional
There was a time when I thought closure meant getting a heartfelt apology—preferably with tears, a dramatic realization of their mistakes, and maybe even a handwritten letter for extra effect. Life isn’t a movie, and some people are out here acting like they’ve never done anything wrong in their entire existence.
So, I’ve learned that closure isn’t something I wait around for—it’s something I give myself. Sometimes, moving on means accepting that the apology I deserve will never come… and instead, treating myself to an overpriced coffee like I just won a legal battle.
3. Have a Group Chat on Mute
There was a time when my phone notifications dictated my life. A message popped up? Immediate response. A group chat exploded? I was in the thick of it. The idea of missing anything—plans, gossip, an inside joke that would inevitably become a group catchphrase—was unthinkable.
Now? My group chats are permanently on mute. Not because I don’t love the people in them, but because I’ve realized that 90% of the time, I’m just coming back to 47 unread messages, half of which are someone reacting with a “😂”. I’ll catch up when I catch up.
4. Send Voice Notes Instead of Texts
Younger me would have flat-out freaked at the idea of talking instead of typing. Voice notes? It’s way too personal, way too awkward. What if I sounded totally weird?
Now? I can’t get enough. There’s something raw about hearing someone’s voice—the pauses, the unscripted thoughts. It makes conversations feel alive. Texts? They’re open to misinterpretation, and overanalyzing, and can easily lose their tone. But a voice note? It’s the truth. It’s how we sound when we’re figuring it out in the moment, not just how we want our words to look on a screen.
5. Learning to Let Things Go- Even When I Don’t Want To
There was a time when I could hold a grudge like it was an Olympic sport. If someone hurt me, that was it—permanent mental block, grudge secured, never forgetting. But I’ve learned something over the years: carrying all that resentment is exhausting.
That’s not to say I forgive everything or let people back in who don’t deserve it. But I’ve realized that some things just aren’t worth the energy of staying mad. Some people aren’t either. And letting go? It’s not about them—it’s about me finally exhaling.
6. Accept That Some Friendships Expire (Like That Yogurt in My Fridge)
There’s a certain sadness in realizing that some friendships aren’t meant to last forever. For a long time, I felt like letting go of a friendship meant I had failed and should’ve tried harder.
Now, I see it differently. Some people are in your life for a season, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean the friendship wasn’t real or meaningful—it just means life took you in different directions. And instead of forcing something that no longer fits, sometimes the kindest thing you can do is let go.
7. Say No Without Writing a 5-Paragraph Explanation
The younger me said ‘yes’ to everything. I didn’t want to take on plans, favors, and commitments yet I still did. If I turned something down, I felt obligated to soften the blow with a novel-length explanation—just in case the other person needed a PowerPoint on why I couldn’t make it. Saying no felt like a betrayal—like I was disappointing someone, letting them down.
Now? “No” is a full sentence. No guilt, no over-apologizing, no unnecessary justifications. No is just an honest answer. And I’ve learned that the people who respect my “no” are worth keeping around.
8. Care About My Bed More Than I Ever Thought Possible
Making the bed used to feel pointless. Why fix something you’re just going to mess up again? And yet, here I am, fluffing pillows like my sleep depends on it. Sliding into crisp, hotel-like white sheets (yes, I have a thing for them) is now my idea of self-care.
Rest used to feel like something I had to earn—one more task to finish, one more episode to watch, one more reason to stay up. Now? It’s the one place where I can truly exhale. The moment I slide under the covers, the noise of the day fades, and nothing else matters. It’s not just about sleep—it’s about finally allowing myself to rest.
9. Admit That I Was Probably the Problem in Some Situations
Look, I’m not saying I was always the problem, but let’s just say hindsight has humbled me. The unnecessary attitude? The passive-aggressive “I’m fine.” texts? The dramatic “I guess I’ll just stop talking” exits? As it turns out, people aren’t mind readers, and I may have been a tiny bit at fault.
There was a time when I believed I was the misunderstood protagonist of every disagreement. If someone upset me, it was their fault. If I sent a cryptic one-word reply and they didn’t figure it out? That was on them.
But with time (and a few humbling reality checks), I’ve realized that maybe—just maybe—people aren’t mind readers. I could’ve just said what I meant instead of expecting others to decipher my emotional Morse code. Am I perfect now? No. But at least I own it. Which is growth… right?
10. Not Feeling The Need To Rush To Fix Everything
There was a time when every problem felt like an emergency—something to fix right now. If something felt off, I needed a solution immediately. If someone was upset, I had to smooth it over ASAP. Sitting with uncertainty? Absolutely not.
But I’ve learned that not everything needs an instant fix. Some things need time. Some things sort themselves out. And sometimes, trying to fix something too soon only makes it worse.
Now, I get that clarity comes with space. Some problems aren’t meant to be solved—they’re meant to be outgrown, understood, or just… left alone. And real peace? It’s knowing when to step in and when to let go.
Life has a funny way of proving us wrong. Turns out, all the things I never thought I’d do are now just… things I do. Growth? Betrayal? Who’s to say.
Anyway, that’s my list. Feel free to roast your younger self in the comments.
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