To My Friends Who Stood By Me As I Struggled With Anxiety

For the longest time, I was hesitant to share my struggles with anxiety and skeptical of opening up to even my closest friends. I was terrified that disclosing this would affect the nature of our relationship and change the dynamics of our friendship. At that time I felt my whole life was revolving around managing my anxiety and I did not want to be defined by it.
But once I shared my struggles I was surprisingly relieved and felt a weight had lifted off my shoulders. These friends stood by me and supported me through the most difficult time of my life.
My life is better because of you. I am so grateful to each and every one of you.
This one is for you!

Thank you for understanding when I canceled plans last minute without an explanation and yes I admit I did that quite often. But one text message to you was sufficient to say I couldn’t make it. You didn’t judge me or put me on the spot, but instead always offered me a ride if I needed, or encouraged me to come by for a little bit if I changed my mind, and most importantly the flexibility to do what I felt was best for me.

Thank you for not judging me as I started my therapy and medications. I love you for suggesting every possible form of treatment, and I love you even more for allowing me to do what I thought was best for me. You knew my limitations and knew how to respect my decision with how I wanted to pursue treatment for my anxiety.

Thank you for being kind to my body when the anxiety medication had wreaked havoc on my body both from the inside and out and I couldn’t control any of it. You witnessed my disheveled look when I made it to school pickups wearing the same baggy pants 3 days in a row and never said a word. You just asked me to be kind to myself. I could have only done it because you were kind to me.

Thank you for laughing with me as I tried to make light of my anxiety-ridden mind, my irrational thoughts, and every worst-case scenario that would pop in my head. On my worst days, when I am pulling out my pill box with everyone around, humor is my only coping mechanism. It means the world to me that you humor me and don’t shy away from these uncomfortable moments. Whether it was sharing those ‘Prozac makes us friends’ memes or laughing at how much worse it could have been – all helped me survive.

Thank you for comforting me as I doubted myself, crippled with anxiety with every decision I was making. I thought I was failing as a person, parenting miserably, and losing perspective of how important a decision was in the grand scheme of things. Your reassurance made all the difference.

Thank you for pulling me out and mildly coercing me for a night out. The laughter that followed, alongside non-stop conversations, steaming hot cups of Karak was the necessary diversion that was needed to take my mind off the anxiety that would creep into my mind every evening.

But most of all thanks for supporting me to show that I am not alone and that many people go through the same feelings and emotions. Thank you for connecting me with others who have been through the same, and making me feel this is just like any other ailment that requires treatment. It is because of your unconditional support that I have come so far along and I truly treasure our friendship.

With all my love.
-N